Savannah's Theatre Blog

Finished!

Posted in Uncategorized by Savannah on April 4, 2011

I got caught up after the performances writing about every single aspect of management, etc, etc. until I couldn’t even get my thoughts straight! So, I am bringing it down and answering a more basic question:

How did I feel about the performance?

I felt very, very strange afterwards. I was a mixture of so many things. I was relieved that it was over, sad that it was over, disappointed in myself because I was sure I could have done more, worried about reactions, happy that it came together and totally shocked by how quickly it had gone. My mind was whirling! disappointment was strongest to me directly after the performance: all my mistakes, no matter how small, were going through my mind on repeat. We were out of time at the end of Betray, the reserved seat was TAKEN and I needed to sit on the floor instead of the chair which I did not like and there were some moments in Turning Tables that were not quite as  smooth as I would have liked. I was so sure that my focus had not been strong enough, that I didn’t portray my character as I intended; that I’d let myself down. I think this was the big thing. I don’t mean to sound full of myself or anything but I put so, so much work into this project and I was so terrified that I’d let myself down. If others had let me down (which they didn’t! But I’ll get to that), I would have at least had some one to blame and I could have said “Well, I did my best”. If I had been the weak link, it would mean I had not put enough work in and had not tried my absolute hardest.

I think my initial disappointment was just a reaction to my extreme disbelief that it was over and maybe adrenaline? I’m not entirely sure but once I got over it, at least slightly, and listened to the feedback and got hugged by like a million people, I realised what a huge amount Cat, Geoff and I had managed to achieve. Most people I spoke to said it was really powerful – especially the finale – and some said it was moving (!) and I think everyone said that Geoffrey was scary! I had to give myself a stern talking to and not let my insecurities overrule the little bubble of joy and pride I had managed to create!

I was so unbelievably proud of Geoff and Cat. One of the stand out moments for me over this entire experience was watching Cathy do the 3rd Routine for the first time. I felt so, so proud and realised that I trusted her absolutely; she had given me exactly what I wanted and more. After the performance I felt this feeling again towards both Cat and Geoff; I feel all motherly and proud just thinking about the performance!

Watching Taleah’s piece for the first time was incredible! I’d only really seen small parts of it and I was so proud of everyone involved (there I go being all motherly again!) especially Taleah because I knew the amount of work she’d put in and I could see how well it had payed off!

Something that made my night extra special was that they had organised flowers for both me and Taleah! It was such a sweet, thoughtful thing to do and I felt so good that I’d been able to play a significant part in the night!

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